Greetings and Salutations.

by Frank Digironimo Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:19 am

Hi my name is Frank Digironimo and I punch puppies and kittens.

Late in the day I have found that being hatched from an egg is not the norm.
My egg was blue and because of this I am unhappy. (I don't like blue)

My early days were spent trying to avoid the bigger trees in my yard,
often eating the various grubs and roots my small snout could unearth.
This you might say has set me up in life for not very much.

Tonight I have had a kebab and some plastic toy soldiers joined me for tea.
I also have 2 gold fish: One I call Terrance and the other I call Turnip.

Turnip doesn't like Kevin. But as long as they stay out of each others way, life isn't hard.

You may ask who is Kevin?
This has nothing to do with you and as such will remain my secret.

I have never had a chance to collect stamps! This upsets me.
I do however have a large collection of small shoes.
37% of them are left ones.
I also have a large collection of small dice. They are in odd shapes and often roll a 20.

Things that I like:

I like the noise that small kids make when you hit them and they fall down,
(old people seem to make the same noise, isn't that strange?).
I like my sock Franko and he likes me.
I like 2/3rds of Rice Krispies in a packet, (the rest can go to hell).
Bar fights.
Carving novelty animals from root vegetables.
Freaky Circus shit and jokes that are in bad taste.
Girls with no standards, morals or self esteem.
Midgets, (yay for little people they make me feel big).
Really creepy people who follow you about.
Finding and killing sorcerers.

Things that I Dislike:

Balloon animals, its not a giraffe its a bent up balloon!
Eating just because I've run out of beer!
Fat people who aren't jolly, (fat people have to be jolly its the LAW!)
Girls who think to much, (well of course your not going to want to sleep with me if you think about it).
Hangovers!!!
Kittens that come apart when you kick them.
Materialism and not having enough stuff.
Double Standards (i can have them but you cant!)
Shaving.
Small stones with sharp edges.
Snotty eggs.
Anything that uses spells to hit me in combat.

To be honest I only came here because I was told that Mondays is chocolate cake and ice cream day.

Ok, enough of the random rant that is caused by a bottle of good scotch, bad pizza, 3 day old potato chips that where left open, and lack of sleep.

Oh yea, I need a uniform please :)

Best Regards,

Frank Digironimo.
http://www.erepublik.com/en/citizen/profile/6798120